Michael O’Keefe rose out of bed and yawned. He walked over to the window and raised the blinds. The sunlight illuminated the grass as a light snow floated down to the earth.

“What a beautiful day,” he said to no one in particular. Michael looked back at his wife, lying in bed. He smiled and exited his bedroom quietly. Walking out to the kitchen, he grabbed the remote on the counter and turned the living room TV on. Michael poured himself a cup of coffee. A groan came out from the bedroom. He laughed.

“Early bird catches the worm, Kathy!” he yelled to his wife. A few minutes passed as Michael watched the news and sipped at his coffee. “Hey, Hon, get this!” he shouted again. “Apparently there’s some new disease spreading around! People say they’ve seen folk pass away then get right back up again, just to act all crazy! If you ask me, it’s them who are crazy!” He chuckled at his own joke. Michael heard his wife groan again. “Oh, I’m sorry, Hon. Didn’t mean to wake you up!”

Another moment passed while Michael sat and thought about his life. He was grateful to have a nice house, a beautiful wife and good health. He would never want to give up what he had. He sat daydreaming until a noise snapped him out of it. Someone was pounding at the door. He set the coffee cup down and went to the front door. The pounding continued as he slid open the deadbolt. Michael opened the door and a man fell into his arms. He propped the newcomer up.

“Oh, thank you! Thank you!” the frightened man said. “Oh thank God, thank you!” Michael had a confused but concerned look on his face. The man was younger and drenched with sweat. His clothes were in horrible condition and he obviously hadn’t showered in several days.

“Well, hello there. Are you new to the neighborhood? What’s you’re name, son?” Michael inquired. The man looked behind him, rushed inside and slammed the sturdy door.

“Umm, it’s Keith, Keith Williams,” he replied. Keith fumbled as he twisted and pulled every lock on the door shut.

“I’m Michael. Here, let me pour you some coffee. Are you in some kind of trouble, Keith?”

Keith sat down and spoke between gasps of air. “I was trying to find somewhere to hide when a whole swarm of them came out of nowhere.”

Michael pondered his guest for a moment. “A swarm of what, exactly?”

Keith shot a bewildered look at him. “What are you talking about? What else would be out there? Didn’t you see them chasing…”

He then noticed what his host was doing. Michael held an empty, broken coffee pot and was miming a pouring motion into an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. “Something wrong?” asked Michael as he handed the “cup” to Keith.

Keith looked at his surroundings. He saw a ghoul on a bed through an open door. It moaned and struggled to break free of the ropes keeping it bound. He looked behind him at the fuzzy television, lighting up the dark living room. He saw the shadows passing by the window and heard the zombies outside pummeling the thick front door. Then he looked at the sturdy brick foundation of the house.

“Thank you.” Keith said. He looked up at Michael, blew on his peanut butter jar and took a sip.

8 Responses to “Bliss”

  • There! Finally wrote one! It may have punctuation issues, etc. but I finished. I’m sorry if this is the wrong format or something like that. I tried following the directions on what to do when posting from Word but the layout was different than the picture. Anyway, all feedback is welcome. Be brutal.

  • I fixed up the formatting. Let me know if I messed up any paragraph breaks. I had to mess around with it a few times and may have taken out a break.

  • You’re going to be good at this. The title matches the story very well in three different ways. It’s short and sweet and leaves the end open to a world of possibilities. At first, I thought Mark’d want to leave and get out of the insane situation. Then I figured it out. Perhaps I was slow catching on, but I like it when there’s a deeper meaning to catch. It was subtle.

    I removed the (once a woman) from the last paragraph because it was unnecessary. I also took out the comma between brick and sturdy. Some of your quotation end punctuation was a little funky, putting in periods where commas were needed or following a !” with a small letter. Overall, though, it had an incredibly low number of usage errors. What a welcome sight on a first story from a new member. I think we’ll look forward to #2 from you.

    I had trouble keeping the characters (Michael and Mark) straight at the end. I know my reading comprehension is supposed to be better than that, but I guess it isn’t. Did anyone else see that?

  • Hey nice story i like the wording of the charecters very much keep at it you have a very good talent.

  • Thanks for the responses. I decided to change Mark’s name to Keith. I don’t know why I chose Keith, it just sounded good. I didn’t want readers to become distracted from the story because of the names.

    Oh, one more thing: Kyrgyzstan

  • Yea the names got a little confusing i know how you feel I worte a quick story and named the charecters John and Joan I changed one of the names to.

  • Just Another Night. Kytlyn used to be Joan.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.