Hitting on the Ladiez

Two weeks ago, my fiancée left me.  I didn’t think I’d be back out at the bar scene so soon, but here I was, spending my weekend at The Blarney Stone with my buddy Rick checking out a couple of girls across the room.

“You want the blonde or the brunette?”

“Rick, I don’t know about this.  It’s too soon.  I don’t think I can do it.”

“C’mon, she’s gone, and she’s not coming back.  You’ve got to move on, man.”

“Fine, but no guarantees.  I’ll go over there, but if it doesn’t feel right, I’m not going through with it.”

“That’s the spirit.  So, which one do you want?  The brunette?  She’s just waiting for you over there.”

“OK, but you first.  I think it will be easier for me if her friend’s not there.”

The blonde made her way towards the pool table, and Rick followed her across the room.  That left just me and the brunette.

I couldn’t believe I was about to do this.  My wedding was supposed to be this morning, and now I’m checking out some strange girl at the bar.

As I made my way across the bar, my heart began pounding.  I think she must have heard it, because she finally turned towards me.  The look on her face showed that she was interested in me as well.  I didn’t know what to say once I reached her, should I try a line on her?  “You come here often?” didn’t seem right.  Neither did “My fiancée just left me.”  My throat was drying up, so I probably wouldn’t get much out anyway.  I began to sweat profusely.  I think she could tell that I was nervous.

“Uh, hi, uh, I don’t usually do this, but..”

Rick called from across that bar, “Dude! What are you doing?”

I turned back to see the brunette leaning in towards me to take a bite.  I swung the bat in my left hand, knocking her to the floor.

Rick picked up a towel off of the bar, and wiped the blood and skull chunks off of his crowbar.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?  Let’s see if there’s anything worth drinking left, and then we’ll head back.”