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Hitting on the Ladiez
Two weeks ago, my fiancée left me. I didn’t think I’d be back out at the bar scene so soon, but here I was, spending my weekend at The Blarney Stone with my buddy Rick checking out a couple of girls across the room. “You want the blonde or the brunette?” “Rick, I don’t know…
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To The Editor
May 8, 20XX To the Editor: Yesterday, my class had to stay late after school. My teacher said it was because a bear was in my neighborhood. After they let us go home, my dad wouldn’t let me play outside because a bear was in my neighborhood. Last night they caught the bear down my…
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Until Death
Brad’s parents were always fighting. He hated it. He’d wake up to the sound of the screaming spouses and come home from school to the same monotonous noise. If it wasn’t bills, it was senseless jealousy. He had started to grow accustomed to it, but had never become immune. One day, Brad got off the…
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Saved by the Bull
A.C. was in his junior year of high school when The Panic happened. He was in love. Jessie was the love of his life. They had been dating for just over a year when Zack stole her away. A.C. swore that he would have his revenge on Zack for stealing his girl. At seventeen, he…
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Zonexistentialism
“Neither need you tell me,” said Candy, “that we must take care of our garden.” “You are in the right,” said Glossy; “for when we were put into this garden of Eden, it was with an intent to dress it; and this proves that mankind was not born to be idle.” “Work then without disputing,”…
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Tagged
It was seven feet tall, bright orange, and aesthetically unpleasant. Whoever did it put it halfway between the entrances to the A & B concourses. Whoever did it had never bothered to burden his or her talents with anything as inconvenient as an art class. Slater looked at Asher. “When I find out who did…
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Ain’t She A Beaut!
“Take a look at this one! Ain’t she a beaut!” Larry whispered to himself as he lay in the cold wet grass of Burnet Park. “Crikey! I’ve never seen one so close.” Larry dreamed of one day having his own nature show on television. In reality, he just impersonated his idol, The Crocodile Hunter. Larry…
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Earth Day
Before the outbreak, we used to run around with trash bags. We used to try to make the earth prettier. It made us feel good about ourselves, or at least good enough to go back to driving our SUV’s guilt-free. This year it was a completley different story. Instead of picking up plastic bags, I…
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Bliss
Michael O’Keefe rose out of bed and yawned. He walked over to the window and raised the blinds. The sunlight illuminated the grass as a light snow floated down to the earth. “What a beautiful day,” he said to no one in particular. Michael looked back at his wife, lying in bed. He smiled and…
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A Girl’s Got to Eat
Montoya cruised down Wolf Street in his red ’06 Mustang looking for a pro to finish off his evening at the clubs. He saw her just as he crossed 2nd North by Twilight Nights. She looked like she was a bit wasted, which was good. He had only a twenty left. He slowed down and…
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The Day the Muzak Died
Patrick Reynolds hated his job. He worked behind the counter at a gas station on the West Side. Every day was the same as the day before. The same customers came in each day, buying the same newspaper and coffee. He suffered through the same loop of lite rock songs on the store’s stereo. He…