I hate Erin McGraw.

I hate her and her smiley-faced ZED.

I hate her and her smiley-faced ZED and that stupid nickname she gave me.

I hate her, her ZED, my nickname, and how she acts during missions.

I hate that I didn’t see that ghoul coming up from behind.

I hate how close to my head she swung that smiley-faced crowbar.

I hate that her ZED saved my life.

I… I think I’m in love.