Final Thoughts

“Mom, no!”

That’s when I bashed her head in, monkey wrench to the forehead. The woman had taken care of me for 22 years and it came down to that.

I didn’t think I could do it. She’s my mom, for Christ’s sake. Well, was my mom anyways. Have you ever bashed your own mother’s forehead in?

There was a time that the more common answer was, “No,” but here, every day I find another person with a similar story. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, priests, wives, even toddlers. The unthinkable has become an every day occurrence.

The guy in the cot next to me doesn’t have a brother anymore. He raided his own house last week and found a note on his brother’s desk, “I couldn’t do it. She’s my niece.” His brother’s signature was scrawled at the bottom of the page. The door to the bedroom was off the hinges and there was blood everywhere.

This is what it’s come down to, slaying family members for survival. Tantalus cursed his entire family by killing his son. I have a neighbor that brought three of his kids to their deaths.

What’s left for us? I can’t think of anything either, so fuck it. Tonight, I’m leaving the Zone and all the people who are still alive behind me. Maybe one day they’ll realize how pointless their lives are too.

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